Nine lives...or nine goals

HOLY TOTTENHAM!!!

They demolished Wigan 9-1.

That is absolutely disgusting and Wigan should be dealt a very huge fine and expulsion from the league for being so terrible.

NO EXCUSES

Honour? Never...

So there are numerous reports that the Toronto Raptors look set to honour Vince Carter the next time the Orlando Magic come to town.

Many would think this is a great move for someone who put us on the map so to speak.

On the other hand, more people feel that this would be more detrimental and there is no chance in hell this person deserves such an honour.

Let's take a look back to reflect on the guy who 'put us on the map'....

32 DONE

Well people, it is official!! The final list of teams has been confirmed for next summer's World Cup in Africa.

I am quite disgusted with France's game winning goal in extra-time. I really feel referee's should be able to look at video footage when making a decision on any goal that they are unsure about. They would then be able to see that Thierry clearly touched the ball with his hand. Now everyone can argue "ball to hand," but 95% of hand balls are unintentional.

Any who, I don't want to rant too long. My prediction for the World Cup final....




Brasil vs. Spain and Brasil will win 2-0 on goals from Kaka and Luis Fabiano...you heard it hear first


SWAG OUT

The return of the swag

WOW!!! How long has it really been since I last posted????

I believe 66 days to be exact. School has got me all caught up but at least my priorities are in the right order. School - work - soccer - bitches.

I would like to welcome www.jaybler@blogspot.com to the blogging family. He will have some controversial....yet exciting blogs for us to tune in to.

The blogs are gonna start coming in again as the ideas and thoughts have been building up over the past two months....wait patiently

SWAG OUT

I would kill you

HOOOOOLY, Serena..you gotta bite your tongue when talking to the ball girls

Legend: Bob Barker on WWE

He is still a legend

Preperation is key

So I am supposed to be in class in less than 12 hours and I don't have one pen or pencil, no paper, and nothing close to a binder. This is not good!!!! I am gonna have to pull the card that I hated my peers for in my first 2 years of my program - ask other students for everything on the first day....or week.

Greatest invention ever

I LOVE THE SLAP CHOP!!!!!!!!!!!

BIG MATCH

Watching BRAZIL vs. Argentina - HUUUUGE GAME

girls, girls, girls...

What an extravaganza!!!!! The 2009-10 Sheridan College Orientation was all that it lived up to be. There were numerous amounts of females parading the school grounds today. There were black girls, white girls, brown girls, Asian girls, and any other kinda girl you can think of. I was quite impressed to say the least. The female contingent production line has upgraded and is moving at an exceptional rate. Mark Burns gives Sheridan's newest female prospects 2 thumbs up.

Power Ranger is BACK

Green Power Ranger Jason David Frank is returning to the spotlight, however it won't be as a mighty morphing power ranger, but an MMA fighter. What What!!!!! This is the biggest news since I found out they weren't real. I always liked the pink power ranger, she was damn sexy. This guy is going to get his ass handed to him if he thinks this is another episode of morphing into dragon zords.

Green and White

It was all green and white at BMO Field in Toronto as the team I supported since I was a young boy, Glasgow Celtic, were in town to take on Benfica. Although we lost 3-1 it was still a great experience to be surrounded by a bunch of green and white maniacs just like me. Benfica had some sexy females supporting them, very impressive. It was quite the night.

Soccer can get naaaasty

Hitler speaks the truth

Recently in a game between my team Glasgow Celtic and the cheating scum of Arsenal, one of the Arsenal players cheated the referee by diving in the box for a penalty shot. Hitler is informed by his henchmen and reacts...

Lebron James Appreciation Track

Champions League Draw

This was one of the most intense draws ever!!! Goalie of the year went to Edwin Van Der Sar, Defender of the year went to John Terry, Midfielder of the year went to Xavi Hernandez, and Forward of the year went to Lionel Messi. European Footballer of the year went to Lionel Messi. He was the greatest player in Europe over the past year. I can't wait for the Champions League to start, it is going to be realy intense.

School schedule released

After taking a look at the schedule I am quite satisfied. Monday is just 11-2, so I won't be getting up too early and I am finishing not too late. Tuesday through Friday I am in class 8am to 11am, now that is a beautiful schedule. Along with my Wednesday class I have a 12-3 class and I will be staying there all day until my night school course which is at 7-10. So Wednesdays are going to be BRUTAL. I am content with the look that awaits me in a couple weeks. I can still work a lot of hours with this school schedule because most of the time I am finishing at 11 with the exception of Monday which is 2pm, and Wednesday is a total write off for the next few months.

Where's superkick?

Remember the book "Where's Waldo?", well...this posting is called "Where's Super kick?" This is a match between two Bolivian soccer teams and it gets a little...heated. Please do your best to spot Waldo, I mean super kick.

The future is friendly

I added a new application to the blog the other day, the daily horoscope. It is kinda weird because it tells me my fortune for the following day. So I know what to expect everyday now because I will just read the 'tomorrow' horoscope and I will be ahead of the game.

i got it in the eye

I know this should be an easy task but I had a difficult time squeezing toothpaste out this morning. It wasn't even close to empty but as I was trying to get some out I squeezed a tiny bit into my eye. I know my last name is Burns but my eye was burning like it was on fire. I almost called in sick haha

Fresh news

For all of you that take a strong interest in the NBA, well I have started another blog that deals strictly with the NBA. I will post the link soon as it is not finalized yet.

Chad Ochocinco came up with another dandy...."Haters motivate me, I guess I am a hatorvator". LOL

Chad OCHOCINCO

Formally known as Chad Johnson, seen here as a Wide Receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, he legally changed his name to Chad Ochocino. For all of you that don't know what "Ochocino" means, it is the number 85, his jersey number, in Spanish. That is like Terell Owens legally changing his name to Terell Ochenta Uno. And in this clip it shows him kicking extra points and doing the ensuing kick off. He is a wide receiver....they don't kick. He has the same hot head personality as Terell Owens. Imagine I changed my name to Mark Oncĕ (Mark Eleven) - sounds very swag.

Wongs Buffet

I recommend that everyone goes here for their lunch buffet. It is only $12.00 including tax and you get a huge selection. Mandarin obviously offers more products but they also make you offer more money out of your pockets during this crazy recession time of our lives. I don't work for them so I guess this is free advertisement and publicity. And also, Wong's fortune cookies are so much more realistic than Mandarin's.

The one and only

Correct me if I am wrong but doesn't it look like Usain 'Lightning' Bolt make it look easy when the rest of the pack are pushing it their hardest....and he still breaks the world record.

Miss Pooja - Gagar

She will be at Canada's Wonderland August 29th and tickets to watch her live only cost $25.00

\

WOW!!!!

Stupid...just stupid!!! Wait for the math question....incredible

Holy people dropping like flies

So I am at BMO stadium working at the TFC game and the heat is absolutely ridiculous. I go on my break and I am in the lineup for my traditional hot dog and medium coke NO ICE. There is still one more person in front of me before I order my food and just as the cashier asks for the next person in line, the lady in front of me collapses and tumbles to the ground. I was shocked but I didn't care, I only get a 20 minute break so I have to use every minute wisely. I jumped ahead in the lineup and ordered TWO hot dogs with my medium coke. That lady ignited a domino effect as body after body started dropping all over the stadium due to the heat.

The eagle has landed

Reinstated Michael Vick signed with the Philadelphia Eagles. He signed a one year contract to prove his worth and he has a team option at the end of the one year term. So from a Falcon to an Eagle, with a pit bull stop in between, he has the chance to prove again that he is one of the best players in the NFL.

We find out who is driving the car

These people turn out to be really cool

Is it the same Mazda?

Jose and I were heading home and we noticed the same car was directly across from us

Get on the boat....Banana Boat

As my ICS crew checks out the new crop of talent I am trying to make a big decision as to whether or not I should bring home a plastic 'Banana Boat' display that the vendor did not need anymore. My intentions were to turn it into a shoe rack as I have an unnecessary amount of shoes. So after debating the idea with my crew members Jose, perm, and Sean (smurk.blogspot.com), Sean took the leadership role again and drove the display to the front of the store. It was a bit of a mess getting into the car but it got to my house in somewhat of a good condition. I cleaned it in memory of Billy Mays as I used only Oxi Clean products. It is set up but it only holds 18 pairs of shoes, my other 6 will have to find a new spot. It is still a good look, very professional.

Grease ball

So I am walking through Wal-Mart and I think to myself...I need to get some hair gel. So I proceed over to the health and beauty department. As I walk into the hair products aisle - why on God's earth is there this old mob boss look-a-alike 40 year old man caking his hair in gel and trying to give himself a faux hawk. Apart from the fact he is stealing gel, he looks like an idiot, AND WHY is his son who looked around my age holding a damn mirror on front of his dads face. It was shocking, I wasn't sure if this was for real or not. I laughed out loud and they went to the next aisle so they knew I was directing my sarcastic laughter at them. And low and behold, did the grease ball not have a blob of gel on the top of his head, yes he did......haha jackass.

5 Star Special

Los Galaticos proved why they are amongst the European powerhouses of Football. Their five star performance produced five goals as they beat Toronto FC 5-1 (I predicted 5-0...so damn close). It was one of the greatest experiences to watch them play live as opposed to seeing them on TV with some stupid commentator uttering nonstop jibberish. Ronaldo, Kaka, Benzema, Robben, Sneijder and Co. made it a delight to watch them dazzle the crowd.

Los Galacticos

Watching Real Madrid practice yesterday was crazy. Going from watching these stars play on TV every week to watching them apply their trade in person about 10 yards away from me was truly special.

Classic Maury

I sat at home catching up on valuable TV time and came across one of the best shows in the world - Maury Povich. This drove me to find one of the best episodes EVER.

I wish I played on front of a crowd like this every game

Celtic vs. Barcelona 2006, listen to the speaker carefully and it explains why they are singing it. The fans take over...it is so intense for a fellow Celtic supporter but for any sports fan, this must send some sort of shivers down your spine if you know what it is like to follow a team. 60,000 singing together, now that is intense!!!

Celtic leave it late but reach the next stage

SAMARAS came up big with a huge goal for Glasgow Celtic. As it looked like it was heading to Extra-time, Samaras beat 3 defenders and scored the decisive goal that sends Celtic through to the third and final qualifying stage of the champions league.

Parenting at its finest

These parents need to be locked up or at least lose their children to child services. I don't care how cool or funny this seems, they lack the necessary qualities of parenting their own children.

Raptors welcome MVP Lebron James to T.O.

Toronto Raptors open up the 2009-10 season at home to the Cleveland Cavaliers. You can guarantee I will be in attendance as my favourite team takes on my favourite player. I will pay whatever it takes to get the best seat available. The best possible outcome would be a 120-119 Raptors win where Lebron James puts up 82 points, 25 rebounds, and 33 assists. This game also notes the first time Shaquille O'neal will take on Chris Bosh since 'Big Diesel' referred to Bosh as the "Rupaul" of big men in the nba. Should be a dandy...

BASKET-BRAWL

Team Canada player receives a nasty blow to the back of the head. Toronto Raptor players Andrea Bargnani and Marco Belinelli play the peace keeper role and do Raptors fans proud.

HAHA WORST HE EVER HAD

This is hilarious, Lil' Wayne had to come up big for Mr. Drizzie. He looks like one of those collapsing goats that just pass out of nowhere. Looks like he is BACK in the wheel chair where he belongs. He can't escape JIMMY MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

One of the greatest crossovers of all time

I was reminiscing on the season that had just past. I am really happy Jamal Crawford did it against the Boston Celtics as I have a strong passionate hatred for them. Too bad it wasn't Garnett but Ray Allen will do I guess. Take it all in people!

Now this is ghetto

I must pay my respects to Jay Tempo (itsjonathon.blogspot.com) as he discovered this clip. Check out his blog as well. These 2 young men come up with 60 of the most ghetto black names lol. It is actually quite remarkable how creative they are...especially the last one.

Shaq is a true celebrity

Just when I thought Shaq has done it all with his new reality show and all, I find him as the guest host on WWE's Monday Night Raw. He organized a tag team match where Chris Jericho and The Big Show would take on Cryme Tyme. Shaq appointed himself as the ringside supervisor. He pleased the crowd by giving them what they were all waiting for.

Awwwww SHUX!

This was photo of the day in the Toronto Sun. One of them is just trying to get a nut.

What an intense game

With a long journey ahead to St. Catharine's for a midweek league game vs. St. Catharine's Roma, we had nothing in are head but winning. It was a long trip and the GPS was going crazy, so we had to rely on the map quest directions. The game got off to a fast paced start and Roma got the first goal off a free kick that went through a lot of bodies and deflected off one of their players. We equalised midway through the half and started putting more pressure on them. We went into the break levelled at one and we scored early in the second half to take a 2-1 lead. We were coasting for the entire half until they scored a siiiiiick free kick to tie it up 2-2 with 10 minutes to go. We played way to hard to let this slip and it proved correct when we had a free kick at the top of the box, with the shot we hit it off one of their players and it bounced to our striker and he shot it in the old onion bag with 3 minutes to go. We took the 3-2 lead and it finished that way and made the long and boring trip up there well worth it. I can go to sleep a happy man.

Holla at your boy

I knew I was on YouTube somewhere. This is a highlight package that my friend George V put together back in 2006 when I played indoor soccer at Ken Giles soccer centre. He played on the team as well as he is featured in quite a few of the highlights. It isn't just me but I don't really care. Enjoy peeps!

Newest addition to the family

As Total 90 Lasers are the only soccer shoes I will wear, I needed a pair of soft ground soccer shoes and decided to expand my family with these new Lasers. I have the exact same pair but in gold for firm ground and now these sexy beasts are my wet ground specialists.

Zlatan to Barca!!!

It is official....finally.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic has finally completed his long awaited transfer to FC Barcelona which now makes the club STILL favourites to win everything yet again. He is arguably one of the most technically gifted strikers in the world and it surely makes Barca treble contenders. (Treble = League, League Cup, and Champions League)
Shockingly they will give up 46 million euros, Samuel Eto'o, and Alexander Hleb on a one year loan. That is a lot to give up for a striker but with his quality, it should pay off.

Is this the big news?????

ARE YOU SERIOUS????? Is this what everyone was going on about??? LEBRON JAMES DID NOT GET DUNKED ON YOU FOOLISH PEOPLE!!!!!! It was just him peeling off his defender for a little help and the dude was already in the air. So if all these haters want to go on about LBJ getting dunked on, well they can keep sippin' the hatorade and let me know how it tastes. Not only should basketball fans respect his conglomerate but they should also respect the most valuable player of the league.

Same old look, fresh new approach

Welcome to swagmasta.blogspot.com!!!!! I was experiencing some technical difficulties that was driving me insane with my previous blog. I didn't want to change too much as I was very comfortable and familiar with the old look. So I have a very similar look but my approach will be much different. I will continue to service my blog following faithful.